A Letter from Dad
First, know that you are very loved, and that my heart will always be with you.
Know also that you are capable of doing just about whatever you put your mind to; but please never feel compelled to reach for a goal that does not interest you. What matters most is that you are a happy person who also creates happiness for others.
Sometimes in our lives we may feel we are in suspended animation – uncertain of who we are, why we are, and where we are going. This is normal. To move forward, we must find a core foundation of who and why we are. The rest of life’s details will fill in on their own; eventually taking us to where we are going.
I think there are three major components to living a happy and meaningful life – and I believe they are each of equal importance. Here they are: Have fun. Have hope. Have compassion.
Have Fun:
I believe that perhaps the meaning of Life is Happiness, and the purpose of Life is to find and create it – for ourselves, and for all others, too. Happiness might very well be the prime directive of our existence.
Have fun with everything you do – even if it is just studying for a midterm exam with your friends or doing a project at work. Find joyful moments in every day; creating happiness for yourself and all other Earth inhabitants. Creating happiness for others creates happiness of self.
Have hope:
Have hope in something that is greater than yourself. Submit to Providence. Meditate, or pray. Offer up your tears and your fears – and then express gratitude. You may wish to choose a specific faith or religion, if this is where your heart leads you. If today you are uncertain, consider simply embracing a greater Presence or noble ideal.
Have compassion:
Show care and concern for yourself, for all other humans, and for all creatures of our Earth – present and future.
Forgive yourself and others for not being perfect. Please do this. No person has ever been perfect.
Love and give to others. Remember the saying of theologian and writer Henri Nouwen, “My brother’s victory is my victory.” Love deeply; love broadly.
Really look around and appreciate the absolute magnificence of our planet. Protect all its creatures. Tread softly. You are in the Midst of Paradise.
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Do not compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be someone smarter, stronger, and faster than each of us. It is a competition of just one…just you. Be the best “you” possible.
You were born with many gifts. Have faith in yourself. Free yourself of any limits that you or others have created. Please read that line again. Dream big.
This does not necessarily mean to dream of riches and fame. Rather dream of big causes; like achieving lasting global happiness. Improve your small corner of the world, and it may create ripple effects around the globe.
Know that you will fail very often in your life. Every great person has failed many times. There is no shame in failure. Fear of failure is far worse than failure itself.
I have failed miserably many times in my life; but I have had my successes, too. In a strange way, I almost enjoy a bit of failure – because I know that at least I had the courage to enter the ring. Everyone gets knocked down. Champions get back up.
Here are some ideas and suggestions for Happiness to consider:
1. Enjoy blissful slumber. Do not underestimate the incredibly rejuvenating effects of sleep on health, happiness, and longevity. Aim for eight hours of sleep each night. Commit to a regular sleep schedule, trying to go to bed and to wake up at nearly the same times each day. Allow morning sunlight to enter your bedroom. Our bodies are of this Earth. We are at our best when we follow the natural rhythms of the natural world.
2. Experience Nature. Walk in forests, deserts, and prairies. Swim in streams, lakes, and oceans. Be present. Take it all in. Plant a garden – at home or at a community plot. Share your flowers and produce with others. Put your hands in the dirt, the very substrate from which your body was formed. Feel the world. You are an integral part of this greater whole.
3. Meditate or Pray. Consider doing this every morning when you awaken, and every night when you go to bed. Some people do this throughout the day, trying to “never leave their place of meditation.” I am still working on this. With each prayer or meditation, list a few people or things for whom or which you are grateful.
4. Bring your own sunny weather. Author Stephen Covey said this. There is also a Chinese proverb that says, “Assume a happiness you do not have, and soon you will have the happiness you assume.” Putting a smile on your face will actually make you happier (they've done studies!). Show others your warmth. Like attracts like.
5. Go a week without making a single negative comment. This is very difficult. If you can make it a week you are my hero.
6. Laugh every day. If it is bedtime and you have not yet laughed that day, maybe watch a video of laughing babies; or read or watch something warm and uplifting that makes you smile.
7. Never feel trapped. It is your life. You get to do whatever you want. Do not tether yourself to the expectations of others, or to your past. Yesterday exists only in our memories. Each morning, when you awaken, you are reborn anew. You can do whatever you choose today, and all days to follow.
Remember that not every decision is a financial decision. Sometimes what makes us happy does not make us rich. Finances are important, to a degree, but don’t let financial concerns anchor you to a place where you are not fully happy.
8. Say mantras each day. Our brain listens to the words we speak, and responds accordingly. Consider reciting your favorite mantras at least once each day. Here are a few you might like:
Every day I will become happier, more knowledgeable, and stronger.
I will run into the fears I should. Fight, not flight.
Forgiveness brings peace.
Each morning, I am reborn anew.
The best is yet to come.
9. Make the start, make a choice. You can always change your mind later. Just begin up the mountain instead of always looking for the best trail. You might have to backtrack a little, but there is adventure in that, too! Write down on paper a few career choices or life paths to consider; and then choose one and go with it, if only for a while. This is better than the paralysis of indecision. Something will work out. Here are two quotes to consider:
“Courage will catch up to us if we continue to walk ahead.”
-Robert J. Wicks
"Make the start, begin, and then the work will be completed."
-German philosopher Johan Goethe
Make the start.
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Envision a small mountain stream joining many others to form a great river, before eventually returning home to the sea. At these headwaters of your life journey, you are given a canoe with which to travel downstream. Here, you and your canoe become one. As you float these waters, you navigate through quiet sections, and roaring rapids, too; each revealing the essence of you – the who you are, and the why you are.
You are a child of this Earth, on a journey of fun, hope, and compassion, living a life that promotes a lasting global happiness. This is your purpose and meaning. This is your who and why.
You must at times surrender to the water’s flow, and let it take you where it will. Your where is unknown. This may be a little frightening, but there is some intrigue in not knowing what you will discover around the next bend. Embrace the uncertainty.
The landscape and waters will change, and your canoe will slowly weather and age. But the core of “you” is always the same. Others find hope and courage in your steadfast strength and resolve.
Soon, the waters come home again to a vast ocean. The canoe now rests alone on the shore… And you swim freely into the blue.
I love you.
Dad