A Letter from Dad
I write this letter to my adult children, and as any parent to any child of Earth.
First, know that you are very loved; and that my heart will be with you until I breathe my last breath – and perhaps after that, in some way or form that I have yet to fully understand.
Know also that you are capable of doing just about whatever you put your mind to; but never feel compelled to reach for a goal that does not interest you. What matters most is that you are a happy person who also creates happiness for others.
Sometimes in our lives we may feel that we are in suspended animation – uncertain of who we are, why we are, and where we are going. This is normal. To move forward, we must find a core foundation of who and why we are. The rest of the details of life will fill in on their own; eventually taking us to where we are going.
I think there are three major components to living a happy and meaningful life, and I believe they are each of equal importance. Here they are: Have fun. Have hope. Have compassion.
Have Fun:
I believe that the meaning of life is Happiness, and the purpose of life is to find and create it – for yourself, and for all others, too.
That’s it. I think that’s the meaning and purpose of life. Happiness. Have fun with everything you do – even if it is just studying for a midterm exam with your friends or doing a project at work. Find joyful moments in every day; creating happiness for yourself and all other Earth inhabitants. Creating happiness for others creates happiness of self.
Have hope:
Have hope in something that is greater than yourself. Submit to Providence. Meditate, or pray. Offer up your tears and your fears – and then express gratitude. You may wish to choose a specific faith or religion, if that is where your heart leads you. If today you are uncertain, consider simply embracing a greater Presence or noble ideal.
Have compassion:
Show care and concern for yourself, all other humans, and all creatures of our Earth – present and future.
Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Please do this. No person has ever been perfect.
Love and give to others. Remember the saying of theologian and writer Henri Nouwen, “My brother’s victory is my victory.” Love deeply, love broadly.
Really look around and appreciate the absolute magnificence of our blue planet. Protect all its creatures. Tread softly. You are in the Midst of Paradise.
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Do not compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be someone smarter, stronger, and faster than each of us. It is a competition of just one…. just you. Be the best “you” possible.
You were born with many gifts. Have faith in yourself. Free yourself of any limits that you or others have created. Please read that line again. Dream big.
This does not necessarily mean to dream of riches and fame. Dream of big causes; like achieving lasting global happiness. Improve your small corner of the world, and it may create ripple effects around the globe.
Know that you will fail very often in your life. Every great person has failed many times. There is no shame in failure. Fear of failure is much worse than failure itself.
I have failed miserably many times in my life; but I have had my successes, too. In a strange way, I almost enjoy a little bit of failure – because I know that at least I had the courage to enter the ring. Everyone gets knocked down. Champions get back up.
Here are some ideas and suggestions to consider:
1. Enjoy blissful slumber. Do not underestimate the incredibly rejuvenating effects of sleep on health, happiness and longevity. Aim for eight hours of sleep each night. Commit to a regular sleep schedule, trying to go to bed and to wake up at nearly the same time each day. Our bodies are of this Earth. We are at our best when we follow the natural rhythms of the natural world.
2. Experience Nature. Go for a walk in the woods or along the ocean. Be present. Take it all in. Get a space at a community garden and plant some flowers and vegetables (give the flowers away and you will be repaid doubly with a smile). Put your hands in the dirt, the very substrate from which your body was formed. Feel the world. You are an integral part of this greater whole.
3. Meditate or Pray. Do this every morning when you wake up and every night when you go to bed. Some people do this throughout the day, trying to “never leave their place of meditation.” I am still working on this. With each prayer or meditation, list a few people or things for whom or which you are grateful.
4. Bring your own sunny weather. Author Stephen Covey said that – and I like it. There is also a Chinese proverb that says, “Assume a happiness that you do not have, and soon you will have the happiness that you assume.” Putting a smile on your face will actually make you happier (they've done studies!). Show others your warmth. Like attracts like.
5. Go a week without making a single negative comment. This is really difficult. If you can make it a week you are my hero.
6. Laugh every day. If it is bedtime and you have not yet laughed that day, maybe watch a video of laughing babies; or anything else that will make you smile.
7. Never feel trapped. It is your life. You get to do whatever you want. Do not tether yourself to the expectations of others, or to your past. Yesterday exists only in our memories. Each morning, when you awaken, you are reborn anew. You can do whatever you choose today, and all days to follow.
Remember that not every decision is a financial decision. Sometimes what makes you happy does not make you rich. Finances are important, to a degree, but don’t let financial concerns anchor you to a place where you are not fully happy.
8. Say mantras each day. Your brain listens to the words you speak, and responds accordingly. Try reciting your favorite mantras at least once each day. Here are a few that I like:
Every day I will become happier, more knowledgeable, and stronger.
I will run into my fears. Fight, not flight.
Forgiveness brings peace.
The best is yet to come.
Each morning I am reborn anew.
9. Make the start, make a choice. You can always change your mind later. Just begin up the mountain instead of always looking for the best trail. You might have to backtrack a little, but there is adventure in that, too! Write down on paper a few career choices or life paths to consider; and then choose one and go with it, if only for a while. This is better than the paralysis of indecision. Something will work out. Here are two quotes to consider:
Courage will catch up to us if we continue to walk ahead.”
-Robert J. Wicks.
"Make the start, begin, and then the work will be completed."
-German philosopher Johan Goethe.
Make the start.
________________________
I often like to think in metaphors. Here is one to consider:
Envision a river dividing into a braided network of streams before returning back to the ocean. Here, as you begin your life journey, you are given a canoe with which to navigate the waters – a place where you and your canoe become one. Upon these waters you develop clarity of purpose and vision, revealing the essence of what you are: The who you are, and the why you are.
You are a child of this Earth – on a journey of fun, hope, and compassion; living a life that promotes a lasting global happiness. This is your purpose and meaning. This is your who and why.
You must surrender to the water’s flow, and let it take you where it will. Your where is unknown. This may be a little frightening, but there is some intrigue in not knowing what you will discover around the next bend. Embrace the uncertainty.
The landscape and waters will change, and your canoe will slowly weather and age. But the core of “you” is always the same. Others find hope and courage in your steadfast strength and resolve.
Soon, the waters come home again to the same ocean. The canoe now rests alone on the shore. And you swim freely into the blue.
I love you,
Dad